Hey Louisiana, F*ck you!

Posted by Chopper | News,Rants | Sunday 2 May 2010 11:20 PM

These people have to be either the unluckiest people on the face of the earth, or someone just has it out for them.

So. Here we are. The largest oil spill in US history, headed right for the Gulf coast. Meh, No big deal. They only have an ocean full of precious wildlife, and states that depend on it for economic survival.

Now, I’m not going to go on some big anti oil rant. There’s no point. No matter how many hybrid cars there are, or energy efficient windows, or natural gas solutions: We are slaves to the stuff. That’s not going to change. Not to mention, accidents happen. You can’t be perfect 100% of the time when it comes to anything really. That’s just the risk you take. You can’t drive to work everyday and not accept that fact. That’s just the reality of the situation.

What I am pissed about however, is the response to this nightmare. Or quite frankly, the utter lack thereof.

I like my President. Sure, I disagree with him on a few things. But overall, I support the guy. Well, not this time. 12 days. You let this shit fester for 12 fucking days before you got off your ass and headed to Louisiana. I mean, WTF?? Seriously? After everything that happened with Hurricane Katrina? The President who is supposed to be for the common man was too busy cracking jokes at a state dinner with that suckbag Jay Leno to get his ass in gear? Where was the Navy and the Coast Guard with oil booms? Why was BP left alone to deal with this for over a week when we have the unlimited resources of the United States of America? Of course they said they could handle it. What else were they going to say? You’re telling me a government regulated company is going to come out publicly and say “Well, quite frankly Mr President…we’re pretty much fucked”? Of course not. We never should have even given them the option. We should have taken the reins from day one. “Oh, you can handle it huh? Well, it sure looks that way from the 500,000 gallons of oil in the water. Now, get the fuck out of the way”

Instead, the entire federal government sat around with their thumbs up their asses while an ecological disaster of epic proportions just got bigger and bigger. There are more private fishing vessels dragging booms right now to try and save their livelihood then there are government ones. It’s literally so ridiculous that I can’t even believe it’s actually happening.

The President telling me that “BP is gonna pay for this” does nothing to help the wildlife that will eventually be sucking down super unleaded up and down the eastern seaboard, or prevent the utter thrashing of the marshes and beaches that will take years if not decades to undo. Neither does suspending new oil permits less than 2 months after you just opened up more land to offshore drilling. PR moves aren’t going to help fix this.

What will help is declaring a national state of emergency, and pulling every boat, raft, and spare cotton ball into the Gulf as fast as you fucking can. Ya know, like you should have done a week ago. If money isn’t an object when it comes to any of your pet projects, then it shouldn’t be an object when it comes to making sure our citizens can fish and swim in our own waters without coming out looking like a cast member from the Jersey Shore.

Get on the fucking ball my friend, because “Barry, yer doin a heck of a job”

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Fucking Guido’s

Posted by Chopper | Rants | Friday 22 January 2010 2:05 PM

Seriously, this Jersey Shore shit is just too much for me. I can’t even talk about it without getting disgusted.  What kills me is that I’m not sure how this whole thing is a new concept for people. There are generations of Jersey trash out there. Have you been to a Jets game before? Didn’t anyone ever see the old MTV True Life? I think it was called “My parents fed me gallons of lead paint before I grew up and got a beach house on the Jersey shore?”

There is literally no hope for these people. It’s at a stage where all you can do is isolate them and hope they don’t breed. Don’t believe me? 

 

This video was shot in the early 1990′s. So the kids you now see on the Jersey shore were actually born to these people.  They somehow actually managed to reverse evoultion. Someone should win a nobel prize for this. Or at least be taken out in public and beaten in the town square.

Now: You want to do a TV show? This is a TV Show!!

http://www.slate.com/id/2242202

But if love intervenes, Fitzy might have to choose between his love of hockey and his love of one special Massholina. Likes: his Boston Whaler, his beat-up Hartford Whalers hat. Dislikes: A-Rod.

(First blog + Jersey Guido’s + Massholes = Layup)

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